A Light Note

The Mysterious Mr.Quin

Jadi ceritanya mulai senin kemaren, saya menjelajahi the notorius ABC
(American Book Centre, that is) demi mencari yang namanya...

eng ing eng...

Agatha Christie's The Mysterious Mr.Quin.

dan di ABC g ada. *nangis darah*
berjalan terseok2 ke Waterstone....tutup

*membasuh air mata*

Dengan tekad bulat, hari ini kembali ke Waterstone, demi satu buku itu.
Pulang dengan tangan kosong dan kaki yang lecet.

HWAAAAAA..I WANT THAT BOOK.
I WANT THAT GODDAMN BOOK.

okay, mungkin saya harus menjelaskan kenapa saya kepengen banget punya buku itu. Mind you, I do have the Indonesian copy. Oh yes, I do..

Tapi ada satu chapter, satu chapter di buku itu yang sama sekali gagal untuk dimengerti. Selama ini, Ive been trying to figure out, what is the meaning behind that story. And yes, I blame the ugly translation. Or probably not, I mean, I can't be sure before I obtain the english copy and read it.

Bukunya emang tipe2 collector, kalo bukan die hard Agatha Christie fan, mungkin g bakal ada yang tau.

Tadinya sempat tergoda buat mensubtitusi Mr.Quin sama Parker Pyne.
Tapi tetep ajaaaaa..............
Ogah!
atau ganti sama And Then There Were None, ya?

Wah And Then There Were None itu bener2 buku yang saya praise dari Agatha Christie.
It'll always tattoo-ed in my memory.
Hiyy......

Anyway, ill ran a check against eBay. Kali ajaaa ada yang murah,
sekalian beli Parker Pyne ahhh
and and and........

kok jadi balik demam Agatha Christie ya?

:S

Saturday sigh...

"There is a difference between 'I dont want to eat' and 'I am not hungry'"

He cited. I looked at him, pleased and puzzled.

"When you are not hungry, the problem is in your stomach.
But when you don't want to eat, the problem is up there in the brain"

Ha!

Maybe I do have a problem somewhere up in my brain.

*merinding*

Creepy.

*nyanyi*

Too much caffeeiiinneee will killl yooouuuu...eventually.

Ah but what's life without bumps and stitches,
some emotional rollercoaster,
depression, mental syndrome, frustration.

hihi, Im always like this before my bday.
in two weeks id be 24. not that it matters that much (in denial)
But ill be 24, and...nothing.

Probably in 5 years the ice gonna melt and we're all gonna be roasted,
doesnt matter in earth or hell,
it'd be just the same.
Then ill be 29, and probably still be nothing.

God, why did you gave life just to take it back?

*sob*

I Am Esther

Tell me then, does love make one a fool or do only fools fall in love?

Every idiot assumes there's a pressing circumstance about his love
that necessitates particular haste,

and thereby lays bare the intensity of his love,
unwittingly putting a weapon into the hands of his beloved ~

Orhan Pamuk - My Name Is Red, page 82

Breath in.Breath out.Hold.

Breath in. Breath out. Hold.

*sigh*

when you are mentally tired, what'd you do?

its like, all the juices of inspiration has been squeezed out of my brain.
like its somehow..
*ugh ugh - memperagakan gerakan memeras*

owh..
its powbly the case of monday.

Breath in. Breath out.

Objectified a (Human) subject

"Busyet dah susunya..."

"Mak..bokonge..."

"Whoa. Susu bok. Itu asli apa palsu ya?"

Now, ungkapan2 seperti itu memang akrab di telinga perempuan.
Ada perempuan yang langsung merasa dilecehkan (of course, who wouldn't?)
Ada yang cuma ketawa, sambil geleng-geleng (men, its on their nature)
Ada yang bilang, hush ga pantes ah ngomong gitu, gimana kalo yang digituin adikmu atau ibumu?

Well, saya termasuk tipe kedua.
Geleng2 (kadang2 menimpali, i think its fake xD), tapi tidak pernah keberatan dengan sikap mereka yang blak2an.
Mereka menganggumi ciptaan Tuhan (yang kadang2 memang diumbar),
so why protest?

Okay, mungkin itu benar2 meng-object-kan wanita.
Dan mungkin juga shallow.
Tapi isn't also a part of appreciation?

Jadi, saya berusaha untuk (partly) appreciate men, like they appreciate women :D.
And just as them, I'd share my appreciation with them.

hihi....
not here op kors,
karena jarang cowok yang baca blog saya.

just be aware tho, that ill be watching your asses XD
akakakkakakakakakaakak

Love

*random writing,
dedicated to you, who introduced me to the theory*

"Love is only a state of mind"

Katanya. Datar dan menohok.

Angin bertiup kencang, membakar habis putung rokok di antara jarinya.
Dia menghela napas. Menyalahkan angin yang telah memusnahkan bagian terbaik dari rokoknya.

"I always thought love is a feeling"

Matanya berpaut sejenak, sebelum beranjak dengan cepat. Seperti hatinya.
Atau mungkin, otaknya.

"Everything is always a feeling for you.."

Dia tersenyum geli. Seakan masalah perasaan adalah masalah terbodoh yang pernah dia temui.
Remeh dan tidak relevan.

"It is."

Dia tidak menjawab. Bibirnya mengerucut, dahinya bertekuk. Matanya menerawang, tenggelam dalam pikirannya.
Dari sudut terdalam di otaknya, perlahan dia bergumam.

"Tell me, what do you feel?"

Aku tersenyum.

Love is a state of mind, indeed.
And now, it's telling me, not to love you.

"What do you think?"

wrong impression

didn't wanna leave you with the wrong impression,
didn't wanna leave you with my last confession..

wasn't try to fool you in the wrong direction,
all im trying to do is make a connection..

Sayangnya, ini adalah salah satu kelemahan terbesar saya.
Meninggalkan wrong impression.

Sebagai orang yang cablak (spontan bahasa kerennya :P),
i tend to speak without thinking.
Dan tentu saja, orang-orang di sekitar saya jadi heran,

why the hell did she come up with that sentence?

atau,

did she mean it?

atau,

she's playin' hard to get, isn't she?

Yang paling akhir yang paling sering bikin perkara.
Tapi yang lainnya g kalah parahnya. Mau contoh concrete?
Okay. Lemme give you.

Scene 1 - Meeting Room.
Maikel : Okay, if we look on the burndown chart.. (menampilkan gambar garis2 berwarna-warni di layar)..We are pretty much on the schedule.
D & H : Cool.
E : It kinda look like an elephant, isn't?

*pandangan kosong dari Maikel, Diarmuid and Hariadi*

E : (masih g nyadar kalo omongannya g penting sama sekali) The red line is the trunk, and then that's the head.....
Maikel : Oh...We missed the ear tho..(dengan tampang mikir)

*pandangan kosong dari Diarmuid dan Hariadi*

AKkakakak..Okay..maybe its not the best example(but it certainly is fun :p). Tapi ini salah satu contoh ke-spontan-an yang tidak pada tempatnya.

Scene 2 - my desk

Nah, di tempat saya kerja, banyak cowok Italy bertebaran. Dan tentu saja, mereka terkenal tukang rayu kelas wahid. Ceritanya ada satu biji yang ngajak saya keluar,

C.I : Elvin! We should go to *it* sometimes!!
E : (tampang bloon) They have *it* here?
C.I : I dunno. They have to!
E : ah, but i think *it* is boring if we dont play *it*.

C.I pun ngloyor.

dan itu lah wrong impression yang saya tinggalkan.
Maybe ive hurt his feelings,
(walopun g juga, dia masih sering nyapa2 kok di msn -.-)
Maybe he thinks, im playing hard to get
(yeah right -.-)

dan yang paling parah adalah percakapan saya di telpon dengan my-soon-to-be-married-bestfriend
E : eh, aku belom pernah ketemu calonmu loo..anak se-angkatan kita kah?
B : nope. 7 tahun lebih tua.
E : (shock) SERIOUSLY? Kamu kan dulu katanya max 5 taun lebih tua...
B : hehehe..
E : that make sense tho..
B : make sense apanya?
E : kalo dia pingin cepet2 married.

And Uc almost fainted (okay im exaggerating), when I told him that I told Ms.Bestfriend that exact sentence.
Another wrong impression.

Maybe I could use a good dose of little white lies, no?
basa basi.
Ive never been good on that. *sigh*
Makanya biasanya, kalo ketemu orang baru,
Id rather shut my big mouth and wait until everyone is drunk.

Akkkakaka..

Married? My ASS!!

I hate when people start picking up this topic:

"Udah lulus ya? Wah abis ini merit dounk!"

MATAMU. YOUR FUCKIN EYES and nose and ass.

who do you think i am?  YOU?
what?
you think its stupid if a WOMAN wants to first get a job, travel around the globe, continue to master degree THEN think about marriage?

honestly, kalo udah diginiin emosi rasanya. Married or not, it's certainly NONE of your concern.

Apa-apaan seh? Apa karena saya sudah lulus kuliah saya jadi layak nikah?
who set that standard?
atau yang dimaksud adalah impian semua cewek itu jadi penganten?
trus jadi penunggu rumah?
yang bakal stay home at 9 a.m, watching to random soap opera and suffers from brain-freeze?
Senang hati menadah tangan pada suami, untuk uang belanja?

Well FUCK OFF, jackass

Im glad my husband-to-be is not a dumbass like you all..
who always askin that stupid question

"Udah hamil?"
"udah berapa anaknya?"

let me tell you something, assholes
if we *are* doin any activity that doesnt concern you,
we're certainly not going to be as imbecile as YOU and neglecting any protection.

We have our ambition.
That we'll carry on,
until we think its time to settle.

So SHUT YOUR BEAK and mind your own business
go find a house and move out from your parent's place
cuih.

imagination

what i didnt realize is,

once i plunged myself into the world of reality,
accepted the social life and become my true extrovert-self,

i would kill my imagination.

with that...
my writing.

i share my thought with (real) people now, not with paper or blog.
oh damnit.
and i want to write so bad..

Hmm? - Questions and questions..

Akhir2 ini saya sedang membaca bukunya meneer Orhan Pamuk, My Name is Red.

Buku yang berat, dengan vocab-vocab yang ajaib.
Cukup menohok, dengan memanggil kaum western, sebagai infidels. Hah!
Dan yang pasti, bukunya membuat berpikir dan bertanya..
Oh? Iya ya..

Ada satu bab tentang anjing. Yes. Anjing.
Anjing bertanya, kenapa karena najis mereka dibenci?
bukan salah mereka. Ga pernah minta jadi najis anjing2 itu..
bahkan Al-Quran pernah mencantumkan anjing,
instead of kucing, tapi tetep aja anjing itu dibenci.

and then it gets you to think...
iya ya. kenapa? cuma karena mereka najis, bukan berarti manusia berhak membunuh atau menyiksa mereka kan?

Lalu saya membaca Quote (online), di situ dicantumkan gajinya CEO TomTom
194.000 euro.
bonusnya? 394.000 euro.
in total : 588.000 euro per tahun. Asshole.

How do you actually apply for a CEO position?
whaddaya put in your CV to be eligible as a CEO?
maksudnya, i know some CEO who owns the company, but not someone who is *HIRED* to be one.
How do you interview such candidate?

oh oh dan taun ini, instead of Wuppie, Albert Heijn would throw WELPIE on the market.
cute orange lion to support dutch EC team.
and June 9th, dutch will be playing against Italie.
HAH! that would be fun to watch :p
who'd win?
will miracle happen?

oh anyway,
id better stretch some muscle and shuts my neuron,
no questions. just zenns..